Interview by Carol Wright | Photographer: Tadin Brown
We got to chat with actor Matthew Delamater about his role in The Tender Bar, being the CFO of a brewing company, and his decision to pursue acting.
When you were studying Finance and English in college did you always know in the back of your mind you wanted to give acting a shot?
Honestly, no. I always was a fan of acting and performance and loved the theater, movies and dance but to be honest, living in Maine and following the path I was on (business school, jobs, etc.) I just truly never saw it as an option during school. I was minoring at the time in English (and possibly dreaming as an alternative life of being an English teacher) and my wife was active in a modern dance company so I had exposure to the performance and the arts at that time via those avenues and getting to appreciate them in that way, but to be able to do it myself in any capacity was something that seemed so foreign and out of reach. It was only after college, when I graduated and realized that I was really missing something in my life that I wasn’t getting from my day job or other pursuits that I picked up the phone and decided to call a high school mentor of mine, Sally Jones, to reconnect. We discussed writing and theater and she asked if I wanted to audition for a show they were putting on through the local community theater. I thought it sounded fun and exciting and I went – and haven’t stopped auditioning since. I found that I loved every part of that process, the rehearsal, the direction, the failure and (hopefully) the successes and just fell in love everytime. I’m so grateful to Sally for that because it always reminds me that you are sometimes just one phone call away from totally reinventing yourself.
While filming The Tender Bar did you pull from any of your own life experiences to prepare?
The Tender Bar was such an incredible opportunity in so many ways to get to be a part of and the characters are so rich because they are real. Real people in a real world that the author, J.R. gets to share with us. I loved that and I loved the chance to explore that honesty and authenticity. I can’t say that I have had too many experiences as a child growing up in a bar, but I loved the fact that it is in many ways a story about “the family that finds us” in life. The people in our world that can shape us in unexpected ways. I loved that and have experienced that in my own life with people who I see as “family” who have had a major impact on me but are not actually related. I feel like the characters that myself as well as Michael Braun, and Max Casella (who are incredible in this film as Bobo & Chief) got to explore that relationship – fun uncle types who are confident in who they are and can have an impact on a young kid like J.R. I wanted to be able to fit into that world, along with Ben’s Uncle Charlie (who is just brilliant) in the most authentic way I could and I feel like growing up in a rural community myself with many uncles, friends and family who shaped me was a great place to pull from and turn to for inspiration.
The film takes place in the 70s and your character Joey D teaches J.R. the ways of being an “American Man.” If the film was set in the current day do you think Joey D would teach J.R. the same things?
I think that it goes without saying that certainly today’s definition of an “American Man” is different from what it was in the 70s, certainly. And for many reasons I think that’s a good thing, as I feel like men today have more freedom to express more of who they are. So I guess my short answer would be no. But my long answer would be that I think with these characters the spirit would hopefully be the same. They were all trying to give J.R. skills as a young man that they thought would make him happier, more successful, and ultimately better off. Skills they thought would make up for the challenges he saw as a young man and why he had to spend so much time at a smoky bar with these men. Ultimately in my view it was because they cared about him, wanted what was best for him and saw him as one of their own. That was the spirit of the advice they were offering. Sure their advice at times was probably questionable at best, but I think they all wanted to give him the protection they felt he needed for his life that he wasn’t getting elsewhere. I guess I really connected with the “why” of the characters and probably gave them way too much credit regarding the actual “what” in this regard. In summary – I’d like to think today they’d still say basically the same thing that I believe we all try to tell our own kids – be strong, be brave, be kind, work hard, be respectful, and be a good person. That’s the spirit of these characters’ advice in my mind.
George Clooney directed the film. Did you learn a lot from him while filming?
100% yes. I feel like everyone must say the same thing when asked about working with George Clooney because I cannot imagine a scenario where it’s not true – It’s wonderful. He’s wonderful. It’s obvious that he’s so talented and great at what he does (as a director and an actor) just from his body of work, but getting to work with him as your director is like this chance to have a master class with each scene. You just trust him so much because of his experience and yet he does such a great job of making you feel comfortable as an actor that it allows you to focus on the work at hand so easily. I loved that. His confidence is contagious I think. He was so encouraging to play with your character and follow your instincts but yet when I found myself hitting a wall or having a pause, he was right there with a very clear take and perspective. He knew what he wanted but still allowed you to find it which I think is a tremendous quality in a director. I feel like I learned something everyday from him and from all my castmates because it seemed like I was always surrounded by such a dream team in every way (Ben, Tye, Max, Michael, and Lily are all so incredible). Honestly, I just tried to observe, listen and be as present as I could so I could serve the story as best as I possibly could but also soak up as much knowledge at the same time. Being around such talented amazing people it felt like a crime not to frankly.
Outside of acting you’re the CFO of a brewing company. How did you find yourself in that business?
I guess when you are an actor living in rural Maine “keeping your day job” has a whole new meaning. Having been a banker in my “previous life” and having a mortgage and a family well before I found acting as a possible profession, I just always have this sense that you can’t take anything for granted. I love my life here in Maine and I love that I get to wear different hats and keep the challenges of a creative pursuit like acting and the lack of control you sometimes have for your work at bay. I was lucky with my current job at Oxbow Brewing Company because I found it through acting. I was the host and producer of a YouTube show called “Local Brew TV” five to six years back and we did profiles and fun travel-show like interviews with local breweries and bars in Maine within the growing craft beer scene there. It was a great gig as I got to meet amazing people, tell their stories and get to travel around Maine drinking beer with fun people! Through that show I met the owner of Oxbow and we became friends through our mutual obsession with fly fishing and from that learned that they were looking for a new person to lead the finance division of the brewery. My wife was pregnant with our daughter, Rowan, and it seemed like a pretty good time to have a little more stability than the acting world can sometimes afford. But I really hit the lottery with Oxbow and the team there because they really value the creative side of all their employees and were then and have always been so supportive of my passion for acting. It has allowed me to still use my “business brain” that I’d developed as a banker and in my finance days but also gave me the chance to work with a creative, amazing company whose focus and priorities were more on what was best for the product they were making and the people making it rather than just the profit. I loved that ethos and have really cherished every day getting to work with such an amazing team. Plus we make pretty incredible beer if I can say that and not sound like a biased jerk. As I think any actor will tell you – you never know in this business – so having something that I can be passionate about and give myself to in a whole new way outside of my acting work has been amazing for my life and my family. It also helps keep me grounded when I do get the opportunity to do this work that I love so much on film or on stage, and I really appreciate that effect (and hopefully it shows).
What advice do you have for aspiring actors?
My advice to anyone pursuing work like acting, or music or anything creative where the result is that you have to put yourself out there constantly and be judged is – don’t be afraid to fail. I know it’s cliché but it’s so true. I spent a lot of my earlier life afraid to fail, afraid that folks would think I looked stupid or “wrong” in some way and it prevented me from growing and learning more about myself. Failing is a guide and acting teaches you that almost weekly (for me at least)! It’s kind of the same thing that we spoke about earlier – about the spirit of what the men at the bar are telling J.R. in a lot of ways. Put the work in, take a shot and go for it, and don’t be afraid to fall because it’s often when we learn the most. I strive to treat every set or stage I walk on as an opportunity to grow, to learn, and I hope I always see it that way. I think that’s a really valuable way to approach this work.