Words by Grace Kinter

It’s been over five years since Netflix dropped the experimental dating phenomenon, Love Is Blind, and with Season 10 wrapped, I’ve come to a conclusion as a watcher. You heard it here, folks: love is not blind. Or at least, it’s not when you cast shallow, fame-hungry, unhygienic men who think they’ll be rewarded for tricking us into thinking they’re anything less than superficial and vapid. Sorry…too harsh? 

I’ve watched since Season 1, and although there are a few outliers, a few couples who still seem happy together against all odds, I think the show is operating past its prime and has been for a while. Maybe it should have stayed one stand-alone season, especially because Season 1 was so glaringly the best. We had fairytale-like love in Cameron and Lauren, we had rings thrown and Beyoncé lyrics spat back at the ring thrower, and we had a bride slipping on mud as she ran away from her fiancé. Topping that would have been tough regardless, but once Season 1 came out and showed a basic formula, we lost so many of those juicy and heart-warming moments. The drama became sour and hard to watch, and the love stories that made it feel tolerable over heartwarming.

In Seasons 2-10, many of the women of this show make themselves smaller as their subpar fiancés drink, gaslight, and flirt with other women who are more “typically their type.” There are usually subsequent uncomfortable conversations where the woman says, “You’re different than you were in the pods,” as they anxiously walk through a failed honeymoon phase. But the women still seem to always fight for it. They accept the love their fiancé is capable of giving, not the love they deserve or need. Sure, sometimes they make it to the aisle and say no and get their revenge. Sometimes it’s downright theatrical (Zanaib from Season 3, Ashley from Season 10), but most of the time, it just signals a small pain in my stomach because these women are being rejected on public TV by someone who wasn’t even close to good enough for them. 

I don’t think it’s their fault for not seeing it sooner because I think they really wanted it to work. If they can get past not being initially chemically obsessed with their fiancé and let it burn slowly, honoring the connection they had in the pods, why can’t their fiancé do the same? This imbalance can make the women come off insecure, which is sad, because as watchers, we see the clear lack of validation from their fiancés, causing their questioning and pain. They don’t have the edit we watch; they’re so in it, and it’s so real to them. They’re on the precipice of getting the thing they want and the person they want, but the person may only exist in a vacuum that no longer exists. 

Here are a few disclaimers for those of you who feel a bit clenched at my analysis. First off, I know we have our women villains as well (Hi Irina!). Second, yes, I know they signed up for it. I still feel bad. Third, I want to make it clear that I don’t pity the women I described above. I just empathize with them as someone who’s also suffered from millennial, post-pandemic dating. I admire the risk all the contestants take in going on this show and putting their hearts on the line for everyone to see. But I feel a little defensive of the women because the good men seem like accidents, and the rest seem no different than a guy you’d go on a few dates with and then realize they’re emotionally unavailable or completely incompatible. 

To speak on the most viral moment from Season 10, where he who shall not be named told his fiancée Jessica that he isn’t sexually attracted to her because he’s used to being with women who do CrossFit every day. It irks me that he gets to have a say in Jessy’s “blueprint” on the world, even if she reclaims it. She should be known as Jessica, the woman with a physically and emotionally grueling career as an infectious disease doctor who still manages to have an upbeat personality and always smiles. But now, she’s known as the woman who dodged a bullet. There are worse things to be known for, and I have no doubt she will grow and find happiness after this. It just irks me that she had to deal with him in the first place. Why would someone go on the show who knows they have such a physical preference when the point of the show (for ten seasons) has been to fall in love regardless of that? 

This brings me to the clear contrast between the men and women cast on the show. Your typical woman contestant comes onto the show with an open heart. They often express conquering many things: financial independence, career peaks, and survival of “single friend syndrome.” They’re searching for a partner to share their well-earned success with. A lot of nurses and women in medical professions. As for your typical male contestant, they usually work in super obscure sales fields or work in fitness. That’s fine. But the way they talk about what they’re looking for is the biggest red flag. They’re just looking for something different. Whether that’s seeing if they can find a wife who will look past their height or thinking that taking this step can excuse the therapy or women’s friendships they so desperately need in their life, there’s way less “I’ve worked myself, and I want to find my person because dating has fallen short.” It’s sort of like, “I hope I can change nothing about myself or how I’ve navigated dating, and if this show gives me a hot wife, great, and if it doesn’t, at least I’ll have more followers for my fitness TikTok.” YES, there are good men who come on the show. But I don’t see many of them. There are also several cases where the seemingly good men from the show are eventually revealed to have had cheating scandals, legal trouble, and allegations either prior to or during their marriage with their LIB partner, and have since gotten divorced. 

In conclusion, I’ll reframe my earlier statement from “the experiment is over and failed” to this: Yes, it is very possible to fall in love with someone sight unseen through an emotional connection. But falling is only a small part of the work it takes to make love last. So let’s either cut the show after 10 seasons, make a queer season, or stop casting contestants who won’t put in the work. I personally vote for the second option.